Thursday, 31 October 2013
I found this chap reclining by the roadside yesterday. He said he had to be somewhere. I asked him where and a small carrot fell out of his mouth. I waited for a while and asked him again. He bent down, put the carrot back into his mouth and stared at me. I thought better of asking him again, so I said goodbye. As I turned to leave he asked me if I'd got a new bulb for the hallway light. I asked him how he knew we needed one, me and the wife. He said he'd done a lot of jobs in his time and could help me out. He flexed his bicep, making the leeks crack and the spring onions squeak. I said, no you're alright, we can manage. I smiled and walked off. As I walked off I heard him say 'We?' and then he laughed. Honest.
Thursday, 1 August 2013
It's Summer - and here at between channels we like to spend most of the available holiday daylight in the pub! I recently purchased a batch of photographs which contained these three shots: three different pubs, all of them varying shades of beige, filtered through a honeyed fog of sunlight, Embassy smoke and the vapour that comes off old men's clothes when they start to get warm. So join with me and celebrate that refuge of the pale and bibulous - the British Public House! Incidentally, two of these pictures show how easy it is to leave things behind in the pub, although the striped canvas bag could be an explosive device left on purpose.
Monday, 3 June 2013
OK Karen, first of all I don't dig how you're leaving me written instructions about how to look after the dog. I know what to do, and it also gives me this 'master/servant' -type vibe that I don't like. Secondly, I'd rather put him on his lead. 'Tie dog on rope' exudes a 'Mad Max-meets-Steptoe' feel that also isn't very cool, do you know what I mean? Thirdly, if he doesn't eat the meat, then he's not eating anything. Fourthly, 'Porridge (with milk and water)'? I mean, do you think I don't know how to make porridge? Do you expect to come home to see the dog coughing up oats with his muzzle dusted like Al Pacino in Scarface? And me with a big smile, pointing to the dog and giving a big thumbs up? And finally, all this written on my Rock Follies seven inch, Very Good Plus?? Let's sit down and have a talk.
Wednesday, 29 May 2013
More Autons - sorry, figures encountered in the gloom, I meanmannequins from Sheffield Fire and Police Museum. It is genuinely a great place, and ideal for children (apart from the murder room).
Tuesday, 28 May 2013
Sheffield Fire & Police Museum is a proper museum - things to look at, things to climb on and all of it in premises that are in a genteel state of dilapidation. There is nary an interactive display or 'experience' to be found. There is a room full of murder weapons, some horrific photographs and a massive train set in the roof however. It is well worth a visit, if only to pay for the odd, crepuscular atmosphere and the wide range of uniformed dummies. Try to pick your favourite, but do it with a friend, and not just before bed.